I received an email today with a question that I get quite often over the years that I have had adult websites. Here is part of the email I got with the question as well as my thoughts on this topic too…
“I just wanted to ask your opinion on something..since you have more experience then the average girl…Do you think it’s possible to have a threesome when in a committed relationship and for the relationship not to change in a bad way…My husband and I have discussed it many times but never went through with it.. by the way he’s a huge fan of yours…Right now I am pregnant and all that fun sex stuff is on hold 🙁 but still I can’t help having it all on my mind and thinking ahead for the future. Although I would love to have a threesome and i think about it allot I do worry about what it could do to our relationship.. Should we just take a chance and live a little or hold off.. I mean if I wasn’t so in love I don’t think it would worry me so much but I do worry and care about what it could do to our relationship.”
My first thought when I read this is that there is a lot of doubt here. Although I am sure the fantasy for you both is strong and it can really make sex more exciting. The mind is very powerful. I personally think that if you can keep it a fantasy and have a wonderful relationship without actually going through with it then that may be the better choice for you. Thats one of the reasons for adult movies and pornstars. We fulfill the fantasy so you can enjoy watching it together and fantasize. Now, many may read this and roll their eyes and say I am uptight but I know all too well of even couples in the adult business that have been ruined by actually going through with it.
If you trust one another fully and have no unhealthy jealousy issues and you want to go for it, I would suggest not doing it with someone that you are close with that you would see on a regular basis because of course that could lead to having threesomes happen more often which would lead to having an affair. This is what I heard in your email that you may be afraid of especially since you are just starting a family. I also know of some couples that have certain rules and this seems to work for them and so far they are still together after a decade. Like no kissing with the other person for example. Keep certain things saved for just you and your loved one.
Sex is suppose to be enjoyable , not something that you are not certain of or doubt because in the end you may end of regretting it or you just may decide to become swingers. Just remember, nothing should be forced. Its got to be 100% a joint decision not just one side pushing for it.
Hope this helps a little bit. Hope I dont come off like a know it all. Its just my personal thoughts from what I have experienced and learned over the years. I wish you all the best with your new family too!!
Love,
Catalina Cruz
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