This blog will leave me more vulnerable than most. There has been a lot of media attention recently about porn being a mental health crisis. That it is addictive and very negative. Pamela Anderson specifically is on a crusade and taking a stance against the adult industry saying adult movies are for “losers”. Pamela Anderson became a sex symbol in the early 90’s when she appeared on Home Improvement as the “Tool Time Girl”. Pamela posed for Playboy fifteen times after that. Most of her life to me she had been the face of what many women and men thought to be sexy. I am one of the many people that idolized Pamela and loved her curves. I can easily say she did inspire me to get bigger breasts and want to be a sex symbol. So I may be the biggest loser of all then.
What I can say to everyone that is questioning themselves and feeling ashamed is my own experience. I am not telling you this because of the money, fame but simply because it is my own true feelings. Porn saved me. Before I got into the adult industry I was in an extremely abusive relationship both physically and mentally. I was naïve, young and felt there was no way out. I was made to keep my hair very short and made fun of constantly. I was told no one would ever find me attractive or love me. I was beaten with the club that is used to protect theft on cars so badly that my arm was broken. The last time I was beaten it was the worst case they had ever seen in the city I lived in.
Once I finally got the courage to leave for good after a while I started local modeling in Cleveland. It was the very first time in my life I felt good about myself and attractive. I was lucky enough to be photographed by people who lifted me up. I felt free. It was MY decision to take off my top for the very first time. It was so very liberating even though I didn’t know it at the time. There was this weight that had been lifted and I could be sexy. It wasn’t for attention, it was for me. I have been in the adult industry since the late 90’s now and not every day is perfect, my life is by no means perfect at all but what I can tell you is I am free to be me. So, when people try to take this away and scold it, I always feel like my freedom is being threatened.
I have met some amazing people during my time in the adult industry as well as fans. They are far from losers. In fact some of the hardest, most caring people I’ve ever been around or had the pleasure of talking with. For most, porn is an outlet to feel good and release stress. I encourage couples to explore and enjoy each other. With every industry there are good and bad people, it doesn’t mean we lump it altogether and throw it away.
I really wanted to share my own personal experience with others just to let people know every person, situation is different. Don’t be so quick to dump on a legal career because not all intentions are the same. I believe moderation is key in life with things that are legal. Addictions come in all forms. Food, shopping, smoking, drinking, drugs, gambling, relationships ect… We can’t ban everything. It is all about helping one another if needed.
Thank you for reading. Here are a few pics for my freedom. Catalina Cruz
Thank you for such a candid account.
thanks for the good times, it’s horrible that double standard that is handled in the media, your job impetus to me to achieve goals, like having a credit card to buy a membership from your site, your job me pleased many times I hope to follow supporting much longer, and if this is considered disease should be attentive love what happens in the world to worry about a few girls showing their body without actually knowing why they do it. my Catalina big day waiting for your September 13 …..
This blog is an inspiration to you & all who have beaten their worst of the worst. Porn isn’t just about the sex. The way I see porn is that it is art. You are an artist & you are expressing your talents, beauty & sharing it to the world & giving out inspiration. Thank you for what you do! There is nothing shameful about it. It’s just amazing artistic masterpieces.
You know you are entitled to feel like it saved your life ,don’t let no opinionated person tell you your wrong to say it or feel bad cause it’s “Bad” Fuck them and there narrow minded opinion. if that’s what you feel ,i’m glad you made it out of a relationship ,and glad it started with a photography session,some women don’t find a way out or ever make it out alive , only you and god know what you been through and how much you gone forward with your life ,i’m glad you are who you are jen. you and catalina brought fun and joy and friendship to my life -fuck everybody if they say it’s not right ,they need a mirror ,before they should say a word. every body struggles to find some contentment in there lives ,if you found it ,like it sounds like you have .i’m happy for you .!!
your such a sweetheart . Thank You For Everything !!!!!!!!
love you jen .
thanks for the openness and correct words in this blog. thank you for this kind of work you are doing! keep it on please.
Good reading, you are beautiful inside and outside. Just keep doing what makes you happy.
Hey Catalina,
Whilst I am grateful you enter porn I do get worried about you.
I understand how porn has helped you overcome some dark times in your life but is this really freedom for you since you are being sexually exploited by us.
You take your clothes off and have sex on cam and in scenes involving men other than Brandon and sometimes woman you drink.
Are you really happy with porn because the content on your website is getting more hardcore to please us?
oh well…let’s hope she rejoices in her business any longer and she feels blessed to show more blowbangs or even gangbangs in the future!!!!
Ohhhhh yeas! GREAT statement Catalina Cruz! Show us your kind of emancipation preferably with blowbang, gangbang, dp,.. live performances! convince your fans by arguing…
Catalina Cruz says, that porn is saving her life. That is a good perception, especially for her fans! So keep it on please! Stay successful in your career, Catalina. Satisfy your needs preferably with a lot of big (also black) cocks in the near future.
What a beautiful milf!! She does hardcore?
Yes I was one of the guys many guys and women who lusted after Pamela Anderson and hell there was a hand name named after her “Palmla Anderson.” I just find it funny that she now comes out and says something bad about the industry that made her famous. Maybe it’s because she’s no longer the “Icon” for it or simply she’s been tossed to the side and she doesn’t like it. So I just find her being a hypocrite.
Now as for your life and how it saved you. First I want to say I am glad that you’re away and out of that unthinkable situation that you were in. No woman should ever go through that..EVER. Yes you should always be free to express yourself in any way you wish and want to; regardless if your clothed or not. As you’ve stated this industry isn’t perfect and has it’s good and bad days. Just like any other job. If you really think about it no matter if we do a profession clothed or not; we all use our bodies for a means of a better life and provide to ourselves.
You’re correct each person is different and they’ve left different lives. When I met someone new in my life. I make it a point to listen to their life story and go from there. You can find out a lot about a person. Now I’ve known whom you are from the early 90’s but however Twitter has allowed me to get to know you more as a person and a woman than just some pornstar. I’ve seen a lot of pornstars not interacting with their fans, but you make it a point to and we the fan’s appear cite your hard work and dedication to us the fans as well. Thank you also for allowing us into your personal life as well. 🙂